‘A’isha said that when the Prophet was told that Ibn Haritha, Ja'far and Ibn Rawaha (They were Zaid b. Haritha, Ja'far Abu Talib, and 'Abdallah b. Rawaha who were killed at Mu’ta in 7 A.H) had been killed, he sat down showing signs of grief, while she was looking at him through the sa’ir, i.e. the slit, of the door. A man came to him and mentioned that Ja'far’s women were weeping, and on being told to tell them to stop he went away. He came a second time saying they had not obeyed him, and he told him to tell them to stop. When he came a third time and said he could make no impression on them, God’s messenger, so ‘A’isha asserted, said, “Throw dust in their mouths.” Thereupon she said, “God humble you! You did not do what God’s messenger ordered you, nor did you stop annoying God’s messenger.”
A daughter of ‘Uthman b. ‘Affan died in Mecca and we went to attend her funeral. Ibn ‘Umar and Ibn ‘Abbas were present and I was sitting between them. ‘Abdallah b. ‘Umar told ‘Amr b. ‘Uthman who was opposite him to make the people stop weeping, for God's messenger had said that the dead is punished because of his people’s weeping for him. Ibn ‘Abbas then said that ‘Umar used to say something of that nature, and told of an occasion when he had gone from Mecca with ‘Umar and they saw a party of riders under the shade of a gum-acacia tree when they came to al-Baida,. ‘Umar told him to go and see who these riders were, and when he looked he saw that Suhaib was among them, so he told ‘Umar and he asked him to call him. He therefore returned to Suhaib and told him to come over and attach himself to the Commander of the Faithful. Then when ‘Umar was smitten Suhaib entered weeping and saying, “Alas for the brother! Alas for the companion!” ‘Umar asked Suhaib if he was weeping for him when God’s messenger had said that the dead would certainly be punished because of some of the weeping of his family for him. Ibn ‘Abbas said that when ‘Umar died he mentioned that to ‘A’isha and she said, “God have mercy on ‘Umar! I answer by God that God’s messenger never said the dead will certainly be punished because of his family’s weeping for him; what he said was that God will increase the punishment of the infidel because of his family’s weeping for him.” She added, “What the Qur’an says is enough for you: ‘No bearer of a burden will bear another’s burden.’ ” (Qur’an, vi, 164; xvii, 15; xxxv, 18; xxxix, 7) Thereupon Ibn ‘Abbas said, “God is He who has caused laughter and weeping.” (Cf. Qur’an, liii, 43) Ibn Abu Mulaika said that Ibn ‘Umar remained silent.
Umm Salama told that when Abu Salama died she said he had been a stranger in a strange land and that she would weep for him in a manner which would be talked of. She had made preparations for weeping and a woman who meant to assist her was on her way when she was met by God’s messenger who said, “Do you intend to bring the devil into a house from which God has twice driven him out?”(Abu Salama had emigrated both to Abyssinia and to Medina and this may be the reference here; or it may be explained as meaning that the devil was driven out first when he accepted Islam and secondly when he died as a Muslim) Umm Salama therefore refrained from weeping and did not weep.
‘Amra daughter of ‘Abd ar-Rahman said that when ‘A’isha was told that ‘Abdallah b. ‘Umar said the dead was punished because of the weeping of the living for him, she heard her say, “God forgive Abu ‘Abd ar-Rahman ! He has not lied, but he has forgotten, or has made a mistake. What happened was just that God’s messenger came upon some people weeping for a Jewess and said, ‘They are weeping for her, and she is being punished in her grave.’ ”
